There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
