That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Drunk walkin through police station. America
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
