i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
