i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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