i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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