sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
