I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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