Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
