I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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