My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My bed smells like the plague
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
