I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
