Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The best revenge is premature balding
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
