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Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
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That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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