Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize