i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
