but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm both gender and math confused
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Shame - the story of my life.
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