I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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