yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
