If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
