id be glad to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
