I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
