well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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