I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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