So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
