You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How's work?
Spinning.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
