we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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