walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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