I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
