you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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