i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
