I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
