you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
