shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
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You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So much puke
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."