We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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