Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize