they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
