Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
