i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Did I show you my penis last night?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
