I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Boobs speak an international language.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
