hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
