I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
