Sry I called you an 8
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
