i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
