I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
