a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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