he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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