Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
