oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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