God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
