ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
