you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
