If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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