She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
