Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Randomize
