I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
