I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
