Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
