Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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