I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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