who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
