the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
