Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
