12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
