I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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