oh god the rape fog is back!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
